Chopped Liver

There’s the old joke that goes four Jews, five opinions, and this is especially true where food is concerned. So it is with some trepidation that I offer a recipe for chopped liver.

I consulted about a dozen books before settling on the chopped liver recipe in Anthony Bourdain’s Appetites. It’s a classic, with no funny stuff.

Over the years, some people have added or subtracted ingredients to chopped liver, most notably substituting oil for chicken fat. I feel chicken fat is integral to chopped liver, just as duck fat is vital to confit. Without chicken fat, chopped liver is just another sauté, and you might as well make something else.

If you still feel hesitant, here is Jennifer MacLagan, writing in Fat: An Appreciation of a Misunderstood Ingredient,

Chicken soup really is good for you, but only if it has those golden pools of fat floating on top. All poultry fats contain the monounsaturated fatty acid palmitoleic acid, which is believed to boost our immune system. Chicken fat has more palmitoleic acid than other types of poultry fat…chicken soup, with a layer of fat, will cure what ails you.

McLagan goes on to explain the “French Paradox” had nothing to do with the gallons of red wine our French neighbors were quaffing. It was the poultry fat itself, consumed in all manner of duck, chicken, and turkey dishes.

Pyrex, pyrex, pyrex. In a world full of uncertainty, Pyrex.

If the above doesn’t reassure you, consider this: we are all going to die. No matter how much exercise we take or smoothies we down, eventually time catches up with all of us.

I am not trying to be macabre. Just telling the truth.

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A few notes before leaping in.

Jews will notice I did not Kasher the livers. I am married to an Irish Catholic, and Kashering seemed hypocritical.

Chicken livers are not photogenic. Here is a picture of a gas station. Did you laugh? Good. I hope you did.

Please feel free to render your own fat. Here’s how to do it:

The next time you roast a whole chicken, pull out the wodge of fat inside the bird’s cavity. Place it in a frying pan with some water over medium. Allow to melt, stirring occasionally. The little clumps that form are the gribenes, or crackling. These are delicious in soups, salads, anything savory, provided you don’t eat them up right then and there.

Jews will also notice the bread and pickles pictured are wrong, wrong, wrong. They may feel indignant. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. The food here is generally fantastic. The Jewish food? Not so much. Thanks to Boichik Bagels, we now have real bagels. The rest? As I said: not so much.

Hot pepper oil. Cameo from another cuisine.

If you, like me, haven’t experienced the scent of fried onions in schmaltz since your grandmother died, have tissues handy. You will cry. You have been warned.

Bourdain suggests using a mezzaluna if you have one, and I second that, as I have my grandfather’s, which he used for one task: chopping chicken livers for chopped liver. If not, you can use a large knife or a food processor, but be advised, you are not making mousse or potted meat here. You want some texture.

Finally, there really is no such thing as too much chicken fat. Trust me.

Chopped liver may be eaten on crackers as an appetizer or snack. It is also eaten on seeded rye bread, as a sandwich, for lunch or dinner. When I was a child in Detroit, you could go to the Stage Deli and order half a corned beef sandwich and half a chopped liver sandwich. Your could also order chopped liver alone, unadorned, scooped on a plate. This was called “on plate.” Not “on a plate” or “on the plate.” Just, “on plate.” I have no idea why.  The middle of the table held the usual condiments, along with a giant glass jar of pickles stuck with tongs. So far as I know, these jars were never changed between customers. Nobody worried about sanitation, and nobody ever got sick.

It was probably all that chicken fat.

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